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Is this gay or funny? YOU decide - settle a bet
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Author:  count_nobbus [ Thu Jul 11, 2002 7:21 am ]
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The scene=Hogwarts
Harry and his friends are about half way through their first year

Chapter 1: Return of the Urkel
Harry, Hermione and Ron are eating blood pudding in the Great Hall

Harry: This stuff tastes like...blood. Say Ron, what have you got there?

Ron: I brought some all flavour jelly beans

Harry: UGH, those taste like shit

*Snape walks past

Snape:I heard that, Harry! 5 points will be taken from Griffendor house

Harry: I'll just shut up and eat, before I lose any more points

*Harry eats

Snape: Harry Potter! 20 points will be taken from Girffendor house

Harry: What did I do this time?

*Dumbledore calls attention

Dumbledore: Attention students, its time to welcome some new students. They will be sorted into houses with the sorting hat. Please put your hands together for Urkel!

*a few people clap, Urkel takes the stage and sits down. Dumbledore gives him the hat

Hat: hmmmm...according to my calculations.....Griffindor house is short one person. He's a griffindor!

*a few people clap, Urkel waves to the people

Dumbledor: Thank you for your patience, students. have a nice day

*eating resumes

Ron: Hey, I found this in my locker

*Ron pulls out a note

Harry: It looks like a spell

Hermione: Let me see that..."Cheezius Cheetos"


*people turn and look at the Potter posse, then they resume eating

Ron: eek! what happened?

Hermione: It was a spell, but I dont know what it did

*harry points excitedly to his groin

Harry: Hermoine, look here! look!

Ron: Don't you think you're coming on a little too strong?

*hermoine looks confused

Harry: youve got to look here!

*harrt points to his groin

Harry: guys, my pants have turned into cheese!

Ron (looking at harry pants): eeeek!

Hermoine: oh dear, my bad

Ron: thats quite a sticky situation youve got there, harry!

Harry: how am I going to get out of here? What if someone sees me?

Hermoine: hmm, just try to hide behind me

Ron: when I pee my pants, I try to pull my robe down so nobody can notice

Harry: thanks for that, ron

Hermoine: thats what I call a sticky situation!

Ron: yeah, i already said that

Harry: HEY! get your hands out of there, Ron!

*Ron withdraws his hand from harry pants

Ron: sorry, couldnt resist

Harry: guys, this is my last pair of pants! What do I do now?

*the Weasly twins walk past, laughing and joking at themselves

Fred: I do say, what smells like cheese?

Ron: Harry's pants have been turned into cheese by a spell

Harry: and its my last pair...

George: I know where Dumbledore keeps the pants, theyre in the secret pants area

Fred: but its in a forbidden sector

Harry: thanks fellas, I'll give it a try

Fred: no worries, we've got to run

George: yeah, theres a fight going down

*the twins leave

Ron: fancy that, the secret pants area!

Harry: get set up, we leave tonight

Hermoine: agggrh...I guess I have to come with you...

Snape (walking past): Harry! 50 points will be taken from Griffendor house for improper pants!

*everyone laughs at harry

****end of part 1***

Author:  aDam [ Thu Jul 11, 2002 6:12 pm ]
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Well it's certainly gay... and a little funny. Must I chose one?

Author:  count_nobbus [ Thu Jul 11, 2002 6:51 pm ]
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its both, I agree. I dont really like HP, I just read the first book because I wanted to know what the hype is about. it was alright. I dont know why I bothered to write a story, i guess i just has a couple of good ideas and couldnt let them go to waste.

Author:  aDam [ Sat Jul 13, 2002 1:11 am ]
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I think if I wrote an HP fic I'd have the feds banging down my door within minutes.

<img src=>

Author:  count_nobbus [ Sat Jul 13, 2002 8:41 am ]
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that pic was loading slow and I laughed out loud before I even saw the caption. they look so dumb

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