The Sailor Starlights
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As many of you might know I'm a big Sailor Moon fan. I mean... it's just the greatest show of all time. So the show aired for 5 seasons, each season having it's own name. The 5th season, Sailor Stars, was quite disapointing. I mean it's great when compared to normal anime and stuff but when you compare it to the other 4 seasons it's just not that good. So why?
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For years I probed the depths of my soul looking for that answer. I'd watch the episodes over and over like I do for any other episodes. I didn't let my prejudice for that season get in the way. At first I thought it was the animation. At times it was lacking but at times it excelled. Just like all the other seasons. Sometimes the animators were crappy and sometimes they just ruled.
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What I always really felt it boiled down to was that they didn't dwell on some important characters. It was mostly just Usagi's story and that's it. Then it dawned on me. It's those damned Starlights! Before I start going on about my hatred for these "guys" let me just explain who they are and stuff.
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You see the main story arch of Sailor Stars was that these three hemaphromoph freak jobs called the Sailor Starlights fled their home planet, which was destroyed by Galaxia, and came to Earth. By day they were this craptastic pop group called the Three Lights. Now I'm all into that pop crap and stuff but their songs totally sucked an ass and an anus. They are the bane of the otherwise impeccable soundtrack of the show. So by day they sing stupid songs and even attend the same school as the rest of the girls (except for Rei of course). By night they're Sailor Senshi just like Sailor Moon and all her friends... but not really. You see they're dudes and they turn into chicks. Now it's not that I have a problem with this but... well it's just not hot. I mean I'm not gonna sit there saying these chicks are hot when they just had shlongs and their faces are exactly the same as they were when they were dudes. So the whole season is all about Galaxia and her minions ripping out people's Star Seeds (not unlike Heart Crystals or Mirrors of Dreams) while looking for True Star Seeds (not unlike Talismans or the Golden Mirror).
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So there's three of them. There's Sailor Star Fighter, also know as Seiya Kou. He's a real ugly guy. He's got a hair style that can only be described as this horrible rat's tail. You know like the ones that 8 year old kids who's dads liked to hunt buck would have back in 1983. Whatever. So he's all trying to get into Usagi's pants during his stay on Earth. Weren't you looking for your Princess? Whatever. That's just so wrong. I mean sure Mamoru (Tuxedo Mask) is just a slab of meat but... I mean they're like the ultimate couple. Destined to be together despite death and end of the world and all sorts of crap.
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Then there's Sailor Star Healer, also known as Yaten Kou. He was pretty cool actually. He had white hair and green eyes so he looked decent. His voice was done by Chika Sakamoto who's always playing gay dudes or something. So she nailed the part pretty well. Of course Yaten didn't get much play. It's mostly just a Seiya thing. He dominated.
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Then there's the irreprehensible Sailor Star Maker, also known as Taiki Kou. Now this guy just sucked more anus than ... Ptash. His voice sounded like some sort of lesbian on 'roids. Not appropriate for when he's a guy or a girl. Just stupid sounding. Anyway he's supposed to be the smart one. He's just retarded. He ends up just coming off as a real jerk. I really hated this guy. Luckily his screen time was low as compared to Seiya. Still he had more play than Yaten or any of the girls.
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So it really boils down to me having a beef with them being guys. It's a show about girl super heroes. It's not something you see much. For 4 years it's all about a bunch of girls and Tuxedo mask, who is basically just a piece of meat, and then all of a sudden these 3 offensive males come kicking in and grabbing the spotlight.
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All other seasons usually went through this format where at least once or twice throughout the season they'd get an episode dedicated solely to one of the 4 original girls. That would be Sailors Mercury, Mars, Jupiter and Venus for those who don't follow. Stars didn't have that. They'd more just take a back seat for the most part while one of the Sailor Starlights would sort of dominate the episode. They'd have semi episodes which were nice but lacking. For example this one episode has this story about this teacher at Sailor Mars's school. Normally it should centre around Sailor Mars but instead they just talk about how this chick was trying to get Seiya to dance more intensely. The problem I think was that all Sailor Senshi actually had True Star Seeds so that they couldn't have episodes where they were targets. They didn't have Talismans or the Golden Mirror in them so they were fair game in S and SuperS. Those were some of the greatest episodes. Minako's Volleyball episode and Makoto's lesbian curiosity were great moments.
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At first I thought this was just a case of too many cooks spoiling the pot but that really wasn't it. It was just those 3 cooks I had a beef with. Some long time characters got the axe. Chibi Usa, who I wasn't crazy about but still thought was a cool character, got shipped back off to the future so quick it wasn't even a B storyline in an episode. She deserved better than that.
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Then there's Tux. Well he's off to the states to study. He's not gone a minute that his replacement Seiya walks by and establishes himself as the new guy. Never mind that Mamoru actually gets killed on the plane on the way to the states. I thought that was a great story line whenever they actually dwelled on it which was almost never. Of course I think it was much cooler in the Manga where Usagi watches him die in front of her eyes and represses the memories... but that's a whole other beef.
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I was never really wild about the outer Senshi. I mean the lesbos were pretty cool. I really always hated Pluto. Saturn is the total bomb but she was totally underplayed even when she's the focus of the story. They got shafted in this season too. They weren't in SuperS at all. That's fine. They just weren't around at all because they were doing their own stuff as the SuperS special showed. They dwelled on the 5 girls and Chibi Usa. That's cool. But to have them around but not doing anything like they did in Stars was sort of weak. Making Haruka look like a jerk because she doesn't like Seiya. Well she's totally justified damn it! Those jerk offs come from outside our solar system and can't be trusted. Screw that.
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Even other new characters didn't get much air time because of these jerks. I really would have liked to see more Chibi Chibi. They could have played up some of the Sailor Cosmos type of stuff but instead they just made her some little chunk of Galaxia. Whatever. I didn't so much mind what they did with her character. Not quite like the Manga but still a nice twist. I just didn't like how little importance she had in anything at all.
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Screw those Starlights. How come they're the only ones not to get killed? It's just not fair. Get the hell out of our solar system and never come back. Screw you Seiya. Usagi and Mamoru are getting married, having a kid and they'll eventually basically become King and Queen of the Earth living pretty much forever while you hopefully all wither and die in some ghetto corner of the universe. Don't let the asteroid belt hit you on the way out... losers.
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Then there's Sailor Star Healer, also known as Yaten Kou. He was pretty cool actually. He had white hair and green eyes so he looked decent. His voice was done by Chika Sakamoto who's always playing gay dudes or something. So she nailed the part pretty well. Of course Yaten didn't get much play. It's mostly just a Seiya thing. He dominated.
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Then there's the irreprehensible Sailor Star Maker, also known as Taiki Kou. Now this guy just sucked more anus than ... Ptash. His voice sounded like some sort of lesbian on 'roids. Not appropriate for when he's a guy or a girl. Just stupid sounding. Anyway he's supposed to be the smart one. He's just retarded. He ends up just coming off as a real jerk. I really hated this guy. Luckily his screen time was low as compared to Seiya. Still he had more play than Yaten or any of the girls.
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At first I thought this was just a case of too many cooks spoiling the pot but that really wasn't it. It was just those 3 cooks I had a beef with. Some long time characters got the axe. Chibi Usa, who I wasn't crazy about but still thought was a cool character, got shipped back off to the future so quick it wasn't even a B storyline in an episode. She deserved better than that.)
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Then there's Tux. Well he's off to the states to study. He's not gone a minute that his replacement Seiya walks by and establishes himself as the new guy. Never mind that Mamoru actually gets killed on the plane on the way to the states. I thought that was a great story line whenever they actually dwelled on it which was almost never. Of course I think it was much cooler in the Manga where Usagi watches him die in front of her eyes and represses the memories... but that's a whole other beef.